Shum from YMCA discusses Empathic Leadership

Shum Attygalle, VP of Leadership Development and Coaching at YMCA of Three Rivers, knew the importance of empathy as a skill. He knew that his leaders and teams could learn something incredibly valuable from stepping into each other’s shoes.

“Coming together in person is not something we do very often. I wanted to find something unique, an experience that was perhaps something that no one has really seen before, something cool. When we started playing the first round of games, I noticed intrigue, curiosity, and then people laughing - that was really different.”

Workshops with the Empathy Toy brought his people together to learn the importance of empathy in leadership. They were playing, fully engaging and learning something new by connecting with people they may have only ever emailed.

“You could see people physically getting closer, standing on their chairs, leaning over the tables. You could sense connection manifesting.”

Many professional development workshops fail to leave a lasting impression - they’re over when the day ends. But that’s where YMCA saw a real difference. “Almost a week after the workshop, the CEO told me that he was still thinking about things from the workshop itself. That was a big win.”

His key takeaway from the experience? It’s effective because it’s done through play. Being human is something that always connects us.

Key Takeaways and Insights from the Participants

We asked participants at the workshop to share the moment they finally got it - the “a-ha” moment when they saw how vital empathy is for teamwork and leadership. Here’s what they said.

Stepping into other peoples’ shoes

“Our perspectives were different, and it was frustrating because it was basically over right or left. Two fairly simple directions to give, but we were arguing about who's right and who's left.”

Having difficult conversations
“The second time we did the activity, it went a lot better, because we had a really intentional debrief after the first one. And so we talked about what didn't go well. What do we need to do differently so that it can go better next time? And so we had that conversation. I think that built relationships around the table, too, by having that more difficult conversation.”

Self-awareness in relationships
“I said, ‘shh,’ to her. She was like, ‘don't shh me.’ And it was like, ‘oh,’ now I'm really self-aware of how I've set her up in a space that is negative, and I'm thinking about that.

And we haven't even actually started. We're not even through the instructions! The relationship that we have, I think, allowed us to move through that.”
Workshops with the Empathy Toy teach valuable lessons, from connecting as a team to taking on new perspectives. It just goes to show how challenging (and fun) team building can be.

The Role of Empathy in Leadership

Working at the YMCA, Shum sees the role empathy plays in the lives of the people they help and the people they work with internally - and for both groups, it’s not just about trying to fix all the problems.

“Empathy, for me, is about sitting with someone, not necessarily jumping to fix their problems, but just sitting with them, letting them know they're not alone.” He explained how it’s about relating to other people in a way that matters, even if you’ve never been in their shoes before.

Leaders need to master empathy just as much as the frontline teams of the YMCA. Being able to hold space for others, forming a connection with them, is what matters.

Play as Work

After the Twenty One Toys Empathy Workshop, Shum talked to us about his thoughts on work and play - or work through play. He noticed that when people were playing, they were truly engaging. They were disconnecting from their ego and actually having fun.

“If work feels like play, then it's likely that you're doing even better work,” he told us. “When you’re playing, experimenting, and having fun in the workplace, it’ll feel a whole lot better.”

Why the Future of Work is Human

“In our world today, it’s easy to use differences to create separation. We forget that being human is something that always connects us and, at the end of the day, we’re all trying to work, parent, advocate and live our lives.”

Shum explains how having this empathy is not just important for the workplace but why the future of work is human.

“If we can recognize that the people we work with are humans that can make mistakes, fail, and have their own intentions and dreams, we can connect in new ways. People can blow you away, they can surprise you.”

Creating connections and developing relationships is what can push your team forward, sparking innovation and creativity. But to get there, it starts with empathy.