Learning Empathic Leadership

Lessons from a Workshop with The Empathy Toy

Shum Attygalle, VP of Leadership Development and Coaching at the YMCA of Three Rivers, hosted an Empathy Toy Workshop for his team of 125 leaders. With their chapters having merged a few years earlier, the organization was eager to invest in leadership development, especially since in-person opportunities to connect and learn together had been rare.

“Coming together in person is not something we do very often. I wanted to find something unique, an experience that no one has seen before.”

Right from the start, the energy in the room was incredible. Everyone jumped into play, fully engaged, and learning something new—all while connecting with colleagues they’d only ever known through email.

“You could see people physically getting closer, standing on their chairs, leaning over the tables. You could sense connection manifesting. People playing were truly engaging. Connecting with people maybe they’ve only emailed and never met."

The strongest takeaway, however, came from their CEO, Mike Ennis:

“Our CEO, who’s been in leadership for over 20 years, wrote down on his card,

'Don’t rush.' 

Almost a week after the workshop, he told me that he was still thinking about things from the workshop itself—not the whole day, but the workshop, the Twenty One Toys Workshop. And I thought, if it can stick with someone who’s had a long journey in leadership, used to facilitate stuff like this, and has probably seen so many versions of this kind of day, for it to stick with him—that was a big win.”

Key Takeaways and Insights from the Participants

We asked workshop participants to share the moment when it all clicked — the 'a-ha' moment when they saw just how vital empathy is for effective teamwork and leadership. Here’s what they had to say:

"Our Perspectives Were Different"

“Our perspectives were different, and it was frustrating because it was basically over right or left. Two fairly simple directions to give, but we were arguing about who's right and who's left.”

"I Was Feeling Frustration"

"I was feeling frustration and losing some patience, but I was able to check in with myself and make sure that that wasn't shown outwardly and put onto the builder. ’Cause my internal monologue was just, 'Slot the piece in there! So close! Just get it done!' But outwardly, we were like, 'You're doing great. You are so close!'"

"What do you need?"

"All of our team who were not blindfolded were calm, we were composed, we were so good. I think we came into it asking, 'What do you need? How do you want to hear?' And then after we got in, we didn't ask again. That, to me, was honestly a huge, massive takeaway: once we got into that empathy piece, we kind of lost it. We lost it."

"I wasn't the right person"

"For those of you who know me, I’m an incredibly competitive person. I always want to be the one giving advice, but about 20 seconds in, I had a moment where I thought, 'M is so much better at this than me, and her advice is so much more valuable.' It was a good reminder that as leaders, there are times when someone else in the room is significantly better at something, and it’s important to step back and let them take the lead. So, for much of the time, I focused not just on finding ways to help, but also on recognizing that, at this table with these amazing people, I wasn’t necessarily the right person for the job — which was actually quite helpful."